HOW TO APPROACH SOMEONE FOR A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP ?

 How to approach someone for a romantic relationship ?

Well ! everyone at some point in time wants to be in a romantic relationship, even though we have other relations like friendship or family but after a certain age and even most of the millennials wants to be in romantic relationships. Everyone has different motives regarding why they want to be in a relationship, some people prefer serious & long term relationships, some just want to boost their status & ego by having a partner, some just want sex and there are numerous reasons BUT there is a common step in ALL the cases and that is to approach someone for the first time & asking to be in a relationship with you!

Whenever you make sure that YES! you want to ask that person out for a date, you go and ask your friends ( who are as dumb as you and that's the truth ) for some advice or you go to youtube and search " how to impress a girl or a boy ? " or the smartest way, you take inspiration from so-called romantic movies and their charming HEROES ( which doesn't exist in reality & no matter how hard you try you can never be like that )

These all are the most common things people do when they want to be in a relationship and 90% of the time they either reject you or you make a fool of yourself and the rest 10% of cases where an individual succeeds in convincing the person for relationship, those relationships most of the times are not stable, either they have a terrible breakup or they don't go for long term.

SO, what is the most logical way to approach someone for a relationship ?

Let's talk about that but before that, keep in mind that you have to perceive things a bit logically, and the old rubbish concept of " LOVE DOESN'T CONTAIN LOGIC " or  " DON'T USE BRAIN, LOVE IS A FEELING TO BE EXPERIENCED " no longer works or you can say it never worked, it was just overhyped and even you saying that you love that person has several layers to be examined upon because in most cases it is just a mere attraction ( which is purely biological ) and very common in human beings.

→ Make this your core principle before doing anything and that is ←

      " Rejections are normal "

Let's start to solve this layer by layer !

Now, before approaching someone:-

1 -  BE CLEAR ABOUT YOUR MOTIVE

This is the mistake many people do, they don't even know why they want a relationship,

whether it is for long-term stable bonding , sex, flex culture, or just merely because they are attracted to someone and attraction can be in any sense ( physical, similar traits, humor or can be anything ) . They misinterpret attraction with love and say that they love the person, love is a vast concept but actual love begins when two people start being with each other after knowing all the preferences, mindset, way to behave, moral values, etc, but how can you say that you love someone when you don't even know about the person fully, their past, their background, their preferences, their maturity level, and numerous other factors ? So first clarify things that why even you want to be in a relationship, why only with this person, what are the things about them which attracts you the most and things like this, you don't need to tell them about your exact motive on the first date or first approach but at least be clear in your own mind and when you become sure about the motive, only then tell them your motive regarding the relationship in a polite way and if your motive is just being physical with them or to just use them for flexing in front of your friends or you are just using them as a rebound after a breakup, then I will highly suggest you to first heal yourself and only then approach someone, don't play with their feelings, otherwise, you will definitely leave them traumatized or either they will do this to you.

2-  KNOW YOURSELF FIRST

This is the most important thing ! know yourself, know what you like, what you dislike, what are your boundaries, what are your future goals, your family background, your moral values, and rules, know all these things about yourself because if you yourself aren't clear about who you are and what personality type is, you won't be able to choose the right partner for yourself because " YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT FITS BEST FOR YOU " .

Otherwise sooner or later the conflict in your relationship is inevitable, suppose your partner is too extrovert and you are an introvert or you like to be organized and your partner likes to be messy, then god only knows HOW WILL THAT GOING TO WORK !

so you must know about yourself and know what qualities do you want in your partner and then choose someone who aligns with "most" of the things you want and with your goals for the future because that will be a win-win situation for both of you.

You will never find someone who will match all the traits that you want in your partner because every individual is different, their situation and environment is different, So don't be too rigid in finding someone ideal but try to find someone who matches " most " ( if not all ) of the traits that you want.

3- APPROACH THEM

Now, approach them in a friendly manner, be comfortable in front of them so that they can be comfortable in front of you too and even if the person is a bit anxious, ask them to be completely comfortable, ask them questions about themselves so that you can know more about them, QUESTIONING IS THE KEY, many people don't know what to talk about during date or they talk pointless things which aren't even important, so ask questions from them about themselves, ask what are the things they like & dislikes, what are their perspective regarding different things, their future ambitions, etc.

Don't be too interrogative because that will make them uncomfortable, you are there for a date,  " you are not a cop asking the thief why they did this or that ", that person is your potential partner so show genuine interest in them and be polite with them even on the things on which you disagree or have a different viewpoint ( that's just a viewpoint ) , also tell them about yourself, don't just ask them & tell the TRUTH every time ( POINT - 2 ) .

When you get to know enough about them , and if things go well, ask them if they would want to be in a relationship with you ? or tell them that you like them and want to take things further, & tell them your clear motive about why you want to be in a relationship with them  ( POINT - 1 ) , and wait for their response, let them analyze you too because you are also their potential partner and after all, they are a human being, so give them their time and tell them that IT'S OK ! even if their answer is NO , because it's their choice.

Tell them to be absolutely comfortable regarding their answer.

→ Some key points to focus upon

• Be clean and hygienic while approaching someone, this is the most basic thing.
• Never lie regarding anything , there is a quote " Tell the truth or at least don't lie "
• Try to talk to them in a comfortable & safe place .
• Don't be cocky, arrogant, or too rigid regarding things .
• Don't show off .

Last but not the least

 

IF THINGS GO WELL , MOST THE TIMES THEIR RESPONSE WILL BE " YES " AND EVEN IF THEY REPLY ' NO ' , COME BACK TO OUR CORE PRINCIPLE FROM WHERE WE STARTED AND THAT IS " REJECTIONS ARE NORMAL " , THEIR NO DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH AND IT'S JUST THEIR CHOICE THAT THEY DON'T WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU , RESPECT THEIR DECISION , DON'T ATTACH THIS TO YOUR EGO BECAUSE THEN YOU'LL FEEL HURT AND THAT IS POINTLESS BECAUSE THERE IS NO REASON TO FEEL LIKE THAT, WE ALL HAVE PERSONAL PREFERENCES AND WE ARE FREE TO CHOOSE WITH WHOM WE WANT TO BE, THERE ARE HUGE NUMBER OF PEOPLE IN THE WORLD AND YOU CAN FIND SOMEONE ELSE WHO WILL BE MORE COMPATIBLE WITH YOU. THERE WILL BE A LOT OF OPPORTUNITIES AVAILABLE FOR YOU IF YOU KEEP MAKING YOURSELF BETTER EVERY SINGLE DAY !